Congratulations, America - you've really outdone yourselves this time
Wal-Mart Worker Dies When Shoppers Break Down Doors
Black Friday took a grim turn when a Wal-Mart employee in New York died after bargain hunters broke down the doors to the store.
The 34-year-old male employee was pronounced dead one hour after shoppers broke down the doors to the shopping center in Valley Stream, N.Y., and knocked him down at around 5 a.m. Friday, police said.
"He was bum-rushed by 200 people," Jimmy Overby, the man's 43-year-old co-worker told the New York Daily News. "They took the doors off the hinges. He was trampled and killed in front of me. They took me down too ... I literally had to fight people off my back."
A 28-year-old pregnant woman was also taken in for observation and three other shoppers suffered minor injuries during the incident, police said.
Wal-Mart Stores Inc., in Bentonville, Ark., would not confirm the reports of a stampede at the Valley Stream outlet but said a "medical emergency" had caused them to close the store.
"Local authorities are looking into the situation," said Wal-Mart representative Dan Fogleman. "Until such time that they've completed their assessment it would be inappropriate for me to share any additional information."
Shoppers around the country lined up early outside stores Friday in the annual bargain hunting ritual known as Black Friday. It got that name because it's historically been the day when stores broke into profitability for the full year.
Many stores open early and stay open late. The Valley Stream Wal-Mart usually opens at 9 a.m.
Nassau County police were at the scene investigating.
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Not that a Wal-Mart could possibly be peddling anything of stampede-worthy quality, (Zegna, Boss, Armani - maybe, but The Olson Twins?), but somehow, a motley assortment of crack dealing ghetto thugs and skanky welfare hoes managed to find something of such value in the discount retailer that it was worth sacrificing a human life to attain.
Was it the prepaid cell phones and high end Emerson LCD TVs? Possibly the Tiffany's quality jewelry? Oh, I know - it must have been the 'haute couture'. After all, I can understand how an "Always" t-shirt featuring Spot the company logo might compel someone to risk a 10-year stint in Sing Sing. I've also heard that some of the mayhem may have been attributed to a new brand of jeans which expose 3/4 of one's ass crack rather than the usual 1/2 ass crack.
Let me just say this to the people of this disgraceful land and be done with it: American people - you are perhaps the most vile and despicable people to burden the planet. Your pathetic lives are predicated on avarice and stupidity, and apparently, the inability to learn from your mistakes. We're slogging through the worst financial crisis in almost 80 years and you fuckwads are in such a rush to part with your welfare checks that you crush a night stocker to death in a materialistic stampede to the bottom of human decency and straight into hell. Fuck you degenerate pieces of human excrement and everything you stand for. That you could actually look on, and indeed, take part in such a murderous frenzy after witnessing this is beyond comprehension: "shoppers knocked the man down. He fell and was stepped on. As he gasped for air, shoppers ran over and around him."
If you had any part in this melee, may the gods crush your bodies and spirits before you languish in hell for all eternity.
